Nick Diamond: Hi! I'm Nick Diamond.
Johnny Gomez: And I'm Johnny Gomez with another death match.
ND: Tonight's death match will be the, though very clueless, goddess of the Blue Star, Lucia.
JG: Versus...*stares at the cue card, blinks, squints, face is bewildered*
ND: Well? Who is it? Don't tell me it's another Harry Potter character...
JG: It's much worse Nick...it seems as if the autghoress in charge of this death match is going to fight Lucia herself.
ND: You mean the girl who has a grudge against Althena worse than even Ghaleon, Zophar, and the Vile Tribe put together?
JG: You got it! And here comes Lucia from the eastern side!
Lucia: Hmm...all of you humans are so strange...fighting like this...
ND: Hey...were you there when Keily sang that song about Lucia being a ditz?
JG: You mean the one where random EB characters were dancing in it? And where Mr. I-Hate-Althena drags Keily away and gets nearly nude?
ND: The very same one...and he's also our referee for tonight.
JG: What?! Why?
ND: For safety reasons. We don't want to end up like Kenny now do we?
JG: Guess not. But I think the Hiro fangirls wouldn't mind having Lucia eliminated Kenny-style.
Hiro fangirls: *all waving 'Keily Support' flags and 'Die Lucia' signs*
JG: And here comes our authoress for today.
Keily: *skips into the ring, wearing cool black outfit that must have been sported from one of the Final Fantasy games*
ND: Let me guess...she's a Sephiroth fan?
JG: *looking through binoculars* Huh? Whazzat?
Rufus(from FF7): *whacks JG with Aeris' Princess Guard* Don't you dare stare at MY sister!!!
JG: *is knocked out*
ND: Whoa-ho! Looks like a bit of Death Match between our own Johnny and Rufus!!
JG: *tweety birds are flying around his head* Oh...look at all the pretty birds!
ND: Aw, damn...looks like you're gonna have to be host with me today.
Rufus: But, why?! I'm the president of the most feared company on the Planet!
ND: So is the Emperor from Star Wars, but you don't see me trembling..now sit down! *sits Rufus in JD's chair*
Rufus: Well...here comes our wonderous elven referee...and don't you dare touch my sister!! O you're gonna deal with the Sister Ray!!!
Ghaleon: What kind of weapon is called the 'Sister Ray'?
Rufus: Oh, shut-up....*grumbles*
Keily: *sings* Come on! Lets get this show on the road! I wanna knock this goddess' light out!
Ghaleon: *blinks* You're fighting Lucia? *to Nick and Rufus* Isn't that dangerous?
ND: She's the authoress...I can't do a thing.
Rufus: If my sister doesn't get what she wants...I get a good whacking from AVALANCH....
Ghaleon: Alright...I want this to be fair. No dirty tricks...alright -
A man: KEILY!!!
Keily: Yikes! *sweats* It couldn't be!!!
Zophar: I was supposed to get her! Not you!! *gets all prissy*
Keily: Oh, no! Not the Divine Drag Queen! This I need!!
ND: Oh..looks like Zophar's got onto the ring..and he's not happy with our authoress.
Keily: Hey...you couldn't do it...so I'm doing it for you!
Zophar: Nobody...not even Lucia deserves to die by your hand.
Keily: Oh, yeah? Who's gonna stop me? Dragon Ditz Alex? Super Screwy Hiro?
Zophar: The Villains Union of course!
Keily: *blinks* Now...why didn't I see that coming?
Villains Union: CHARGE!! *all charge Keily and knock her out of the ring*
Rufus: Oh! A ring out! I guess that was all for the fight today.
ND: I guess the default winner would be...Lucia!
Rufus: Okay...I'm Rufus in place of Johnny Gomez.
ND: And I'm Nick Diamond saying, Good Fight, Good Night!!
Keily: Aw........I didn't get to beat up Lucia...stupid union.......
Ghaleon: Look on the brightside...you don't get ressurrected.
Keily: But I wanted to kill Lucia! *cries*