Loser Deathmatches

Johnny Gomez: Hello I'm Johnny Gomez.

Nick Diamond: And I'm Nick Diamond, and welcome to another fine addition of Celebrity Deathmatch.

JG: Our first match for this evening is Cloud!

ND: And his competitor this evening is...Cloud?

JG: (starts shuffling through some papers) Is this right?

ND: Wait a sec. These guys look different, that Cloud doesn't even have a nose. Is some draftboard drawing?

JG: I get it! That one is the Polygon Cloud from Final Fantasy 7, and that one is from Final Fantasy Tactics.

ND: Ah yes, different games, same pathetic loser.

JG: Well this time we'll only have one loser on Celebrity Deathmatch.

ND: Unless Manson decides to kill them both.

JG: We'll just have to see. And here's our referee to do the honors.

R: All right I want a good clean fight, let's get it on!

FF7 C: (pulls out the sword that is bigger then his entire body and holds it ready to strike)

FFT C: (moves up to FF7 Cloud quickly, but stops and a "C" appears above him.)

ND: Uh oh, it looks like the Tactics Cloud is moving in to strike.

JG: But, he's...stopped. What is that C?

ND: He must be charging up a super attack, maybe that one that was cut from the game.

JG: Oh boy, this could be a long night.

FF7 C: (Scratches his head, and starts poking him with his sword. He shrugs and swings once, FFT Cloud goes down.)

ND: Or not, I guess we have a winner.

JG: Well let's move on to our next fight, it's Dark God Omni-Zophar versus one of Phantasy Star's Dark Forces.

ND: Ah, now this should be a good fight.

JG: You said it Nick!

Z: Prepare to die.

DF: RAH!!

(The Dark Force let's out a blast of dark energy, Zophar screams like a baby and disintigrates)

JG: That's it?

ND: Ah, damnit!

R: Hey now! I never said you could start.

(The Dark Force shrugs)

R: Yeah, good point. I'm glad that poofter's gone.

(From the stands, the cast of Monty Python sits)
Cast: NO POOFTERS!

ND: Ah, ha! Look at that, It's Monty Python! (shouts) I love you guys.

(The cast waves to a gracious crowd)

JG: Best entertainment of the night.

ND: You can say that again!

JG: Best ent...

ND: That was a rhetorical statement Johnny.

JG: Oh, yes. Sorry.

ND: And now, our final match, cross your fingers. (Looks at the paper) Prince Edward of Final Fantasy 2?!

JG: Or 5 if your from Japan.

ND: Forget it, I don't care WHO he's fighting, I'm outta here!

JG: Yeah, I think maybe we should go grab a beer.

ND: Sounds good to me, better then watching this crap.

JG: Well, folks good fight, good night. Or, ah, at least a better fight next time. Sheesh, we really outta screen these guys better. You'd think Don King set these things up.

ND: HA! Tell me about it.

Back to Message Board Madness.

Back to the Library of Vane.

Back to the Shrine to Ghaleon.