When we last closed the book on this, um, interesting little god, he was being sent to the principal's office for roasting one of his classmates. Zophar wasn't always evil though. Today we'll look at Zophar's love life, if you can call it that.
Zophar entered the principal's office. "Zophar, how many times do I have to tell you, 'stop torching your classmates!"
"But he called me a transvestite!"
"You mean you're not?"
Zophar turned red and steam shot from his ears. "NO I AM NOT! I AM ZOPHAR-"
"Lord of Darkness, yeah, Yeah. I've heard a million times Mr., Mr., um, what's your last name anyway?" The principal began to search through his files. "Zophar, Zophar, ah, here we go." He stopped. He looked stunned. "Girlyman? Your name is Zophar Girlyman!? No wonder you dress like a fruit!"
"It's pronounced Gir-leeman! Gir-leeman! Get it right!"
"Don't you yell at me MR.! I have half a mind to die your hair blond and sign you up in the NBA!"
"NO! Not that! Anything but that!"
"Good. Now you be a good little god and go home."
"Yes sir." Zophar left the office and proceeded to head home.
Now you must realize that this kind of stuff happened to poor Zophie all the time. Let's skip forward a bit to the prom. Zophar has had his on a cute little goddess for a while now. Le't see as he finally gets the nerve to ask her out.
"Hey Althena, my love!"
"Zophar, please stop calling my 'my love' OK."
"Are you ashamed of me dear? Our love can cross the boundries of all discrimination."
"But Zophar, I don't love you."
"A minor mishap."
"To tell you the truth, I rather abhor you."
"WHAT!" Zophar grabbed Althena and began to squeeze her like a cute little teddy.
"Zophar, get off of me! Someone, Help me!"
A bolt of lightning, blasted Zophar off of Althena. "Lay off my girlfriend!" ordered a large buff god.
Althena placed her hand in front of her face and shook her head. "I'm not your girlfrien either Colus."
"That's right!" shouted a third voice. "She's mine!"
"No, She's mine I tell you!" cried a fourth!
Before Althena knew it, there werr ten different god's fighting over her. She was right in the middle of a flurry of lightning, fire, and other various attack magic. "Someone help me!"
The room turned black and the ominous figure of Zophar could be seen hovering over the fray. "I am Zophar, Lord of Darkness! And I order all of you to leave Althena alone!" A black sphere of destruction formed overhead. Spires of destruction rained down on the gods.
All the gods stood charred for a second, then simultaneously collapsed to the floor. "Thank you Zophar."
Zophar instantly attached himself to Althena. "So will you go out with me? Huh, will ya, will ya, will ya!?"
"Eeew, get away from me! There's no way I'm goin to the prom with a cross-dresser!"
Zophar backed away and lowered his head. "Is it true my love? Do you really dispise me?"
"Well, um, yes."
Zophar turned around and began to walk away. "Very well, but I warn you. When you finally get a planet of your own, I'll come and do the most disastrous thing possible."
"You'll try to destroy it!?"
"No, worse. I'll destroy the negatives of every cool tv show, leaving endless re-runs of Full House and The Wonder Years."
"NOOOOO!"