Welcome back to adventures of everyone's favorite cross-dresser, Zophar! This is the final chapter in his teen life, and thank God! This freak is really starting to bug me! When we last left him, he had hopped a plane to Oogoo-toogoo-loogoo-googoo.
Zophar was resting happily in the airplane. He had the window seat, and he was happy. Zophar looked out the window and saw something horrid. On the wing, was a tiny little green monster that was thrashing up the wing. "What the heck is that!?"
A young stuartess with blond hair walked up to Zophar's seat. "What seams to be the problem sir?"
"There's a gremlin on the wing!"
"A gremlin? Now what would a car be doing on the wing sir?"
"Not a car you dolt! A gremlin is a little green monster!"
"Well sir, how are you supposed to drive one of those?" the stuartess asked as she twirled her finger around her ear as she walked away.
A few hours later, the plain landed in an airport right outside of Oogoo-toogoo-loogoo-googoo. As Zophar got off he could see a small car being lifted off the right wing. He walked out of the airport and saw the city walls in the distance. He began to sprint towards the city.
The run took longer than expected considering it's rather hard to run in high-heels. When he finally reached the city, he saw a doorman in front of the gates. The doorman had brown pants, and didn't look like anything Zophar had ever seen. He had black skin, and two puppy-like ears. "Let me in!" Zophar ordered.
"Aaaaaa, you sure you want to do that?"
"Yes I'm sure! Now let me in!"
"Ok, pull this rope."
Zophar, being a very gullible soul, pulled the rope. A giant anvil fell from the sky and knocked him in the head. "What's you do that for!?"
From behind the wall, popped another 'thing'. This one wore a red hat and a blue shirt. "We didn't do anything. You pulled the rope."
"Who are you idiots!"
"We're the Warner Brothers!"
A third creature appeared from behind the wall. "And the Warner Sister! I'm the cute one."
"I think that you're all freaks! Prepare to face my wrath!" Before Zophar had a chance to attack, a fat security guard chased them away. "What the hell is this place?" Zophar asked as he entered the city.
Zophar thought he could catch a cab to take him to the king of the gods. Zophar stood next to young boy on the street corner. A cab came into view and Zophar raised his hand into the air. Before he had a chance to hail the cab, the boy screamed "TAXI!" The boy got into the cab and looked at Zophar. "SORRY! TOO SLOW!" The door closed, and the cab sped away.
"What the hell's up with this city?" Zophar asked.
"Oh, it's a cute butterfly-man!" came a voice from behind him. Zophar turned around to see a little girl runnung after him. "I'll love you, and squeeze you, and we'll have lot's of fun!"
"No, leave me alone!" Zophar cried as he began to run through the streets. After weaving in and out of several alleys, Zophar finally came to a stop. "Finally, I think I lost her."
The girl popped up from behind and began to squeeze Zophar. "Hello Mr. Cutey Butterfly-Man!"
"AAAAAAHHHH!" Zophar screamed as he ran away once more. As he was running, he came upon a young girl asking for donations. Zophar, not wanting to give away any of his cash, merely burned her as he ran past.
"I'm not happy," the girl calmly stated.
Zophar ran into a huge castle and locked the doors behind him. "What kind of city is this?"
"It was a city created by the WB," boomed a voice from behind him. Zophar turned to see a huge translucent head hovering in mid-air. "It's their new idea for a sitcom. They take all their old characters and mush them in this city."
"Isn't that pretty stupid?"
"Yes, but we can't argue with the network."
"True." Just then, Zophar realized who he was talking to. "Wait, you're the king of the gods!"
"That is correct! I am the invincible king of the gods! Now, what do you wish, Zophar?"
"I want to become evil," Zophar told him.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! There is no way you can become evil!"
"Why not!"
"It's really quite simple. You can never be evil because you're a transvestite."
"I AM NOT A TRANSVESTITE!" Zophar wailed a winds began to blow throughout the chamber. The winds blew open a curtain revealing a small man by a com device.
"Please ignore the small man behind the curtain," the king asked.
"You are truly a weak man," Zophar said as he disintegrated the man.
"What'd you do that for?" the king whined.
"What!?" Zophar asked. "Didn't I just kill you?"
"No. He was the one who told me all the cool things to say. I don't know what to do now."
"You really are a weak god. What's your name?"
"Bob."
"Bob? The king of the gods is named Bob!? Ha ha ha ha!" Just then, Zophar got a really good idea. "Hey, If I kill the king of the gods, that should make me evil! Yes, I'll be evil!"
"No, please don't hurt me."
"Good-bye, you weanie!" Zophar shot a blast of lightning at the giant floating head.
Bob's image began to shake and weaken. "No! I am...ter..min..a..ted." Bob finally disappeared into thin air.
"Yes! I am the most evil god in the history of Splaf! Mwa ha ha!"
And that's how Zophar became evil. But he was eventually defeated, proving that he wasn't as evil and powerful as he believed he was. So what's the moral? Easy. If you want to conquer the universe, don't wear women's clothing.