The humanoid form of Zophar kicks the bed of Ghaleon. "Get up, you lazy evil wizard."
"Ah, but mommie. Today's not a school day."
Angrily, Zophar removes Ghaleon's cover, and snatches his stuffed bear from underneath his arm, and starts smacking him with it.
The dark sorceress Xian of the Dark Tribe walks in laughs, "Careful Zophie, you might hurt him with that soft, plush stuffed animal."
"Huh?" Zophar looks at the bear. "Oh shut up!"
Ghaleon sits up a little groggy, but then wakes up suddenly. "Hey! Give me back Mr. Bear!"
Zophar then tosses over Ghaleon's head over to Xian, who taunts him with it.
"Hey! Give it back! Give it back!"
They toss it back and forth several times until Ghaleon jumps up in the air, timing it right, and takes back Mr. Bear.
"Now, come on. I didn't resurrect you, so that you could sleep all day."
"Ya know, since you're the only one who can send them movies..."
"SHUT UP!"
Key music - Theme music to MST3K starts playing
In the distant future, on a not too distant place
The place of Lunar will transform, and be home to the human race
But down on the Blue Star, on a tower of sorts
Zophar plans to rule the world, with the help of his evil cohorts
So, he grabs several heros, from the Silver Star above, La La La
Zophar: I'll send them cheesy movies, the worst I can find. La La La
He'll have to sit and watch them, while I monitor their minds. La La La
Now bare in mind they can't control where the movies begin and end. La La La
But, they try and keep their sanity for sake of their friends.
Hero role call!
Ronfar!
Lemina!
Lucia!
Jean!
Hir-oooooooo!
If your wondering how they transported past the Star Dragon, or other Lunar facts. La La La
Just remember that's from a video game, so you should really just relax.
For Mystery Science Theater, the Blue Star.
Hiro moves along the crystal structure of the tower on the Blue Star. He moves into Lucia's room. She is floating inside of her crystal. He knocks on the crystal. "Hey babe! You got it goin' on!"
Lucia open up her eyes and raises an eyebrow. "You've been listening to TonŽ Loc again haven't you?"
Hiro looks about nervously. "Maybe."
"There you two are," says Ronfar from the door. "Old Zophie is going to be calling again soon."
"Another one of these bad game scripts, and I think I'm going to vomit."
"Well, we can't let him win. That's just what he wants. Hey, Lucia, how can you breath in that crystal?"
"Ronfar," says Jean from behind Ronfar, "I think you need to reread the last three lines of the theme song."
"Oh yeah!"
Suddenly the crystal in their room comes to life and the three evildoers of the Silver and Blue Stars are standing there. "Hello once again, my minions! Ha Ha Ha!"
"Hi!"
"How are you?"
"What's up?"
"Did you sleep well last night?"
"Why, yes I did. Thanks for asking, that was very... HEY! Wait a second! I'm the evil god of destruction and death. You should be cowering in fear in front of me. I AM holding you here against your will ya know."
"Except for the transporter here," comments Lucia.
"Shhh!!" scolds Zophar. "Anyways, I have a real treat for you today. Today you will be watching Final Fantasy 7."
"Really?" asks Hiro a little excited.
"Ah, my lord, and all that," says Ghaleon, "that game is really popular, a lot of people like it and has a good story, great graphics."
"Shut up! It's an enemy to the world of Lunar."
"Well so are you."
"SHUT UP! People gave Final Fantasy so much attention, and Lunar got JACK! It deserves to be made fun of."
"But, shouldn't you blame the geniuses of SOA for that?"
Zophar grabs Ghaleon by the throat and starts shaking him violently. Then, red lights start flashing, and sirens go off.
Hiro looks around. "Oh no, we got movie sign!"
The view swoops down and goes around Midgar, while the introductory music starts playing.
"This is the city. It's the city of crime. My name is Monday."
"Wrong movie, Hiro."
"Oh, sorry."
The viewpoint zooms in, as a train pulls into the station of one of the main reactors.
The entire group starts singing, "Pardon me boys, is that the Final Fantasy Choo Choo?"
Then Cloud and the rest of Avanlache jump off the train, except for Cloud who does a double flip off and lands on his feet.
"Ooohh! Ahhh!!" says the group simultaneously at Cloud's acrobatic skills.
Avalanche beats up the guards there. Barret gives the order to move out, and the rest of Avanlache save for Cloud head on out. Cloud then turns and runs down after them.
Lemina then starts whining, "Guys! Hey guys! Come on, wait up, you guys!"
Avalanche meets inside part of the complex.
"So, you used to be in Soldier?"
"No, they're not my type."
"Ex-Soldier." answers Cloud bluntly.
"Look, Mister bigshot, these Mako reactors aren't any laughing matter."
The group laughs loudly.
"They is drainin' the life out of this planet."
Cloud simply shrugs, "It's not my problem."
Wedge then breaks up the two of them.
"That's it." says Barret, "I'm keeping my eye on you." Then Barret "joins" Cloud, by walking right into him and disappearing."
"AHHH!!!"
Avalanche continues onward into the reactor. Fighting random battles here and there.
"Ya know." says Jean, "Even though Shinra outnumbers them 5,000,000 to one. It's awfully nice of them to only attack the heros one or two at a time."
After moving further in, one of the member of Avalanche informs Cloud that for some ladders, the mysterious circle button needs to be pushed to climb onto them, and get off of them.
"Boy, it's awfully nice for that terrorist to tell another terrorist that was in a training intensive organization like Soldier, how to climb up and down ladders."
"Isn't it though?"
Cloud and Barret reach the reactor. Just before moving over to it. Cloud grabs his a head and a voice tells him that these reactors are more then what you think of them.
"Ahh!" shouts Hiro as Cloud grabs his head, "I can hear Hanson!"
After the bomb is set a giant metal scorpion attacks Cloud and Barret.
"Cloud, when its tail is up, don't attack, or it will attack with its Tail Laser!"
"D'oh! I knew those Shinra engineers forgot to cover SOMETHING!"
After a not-so-tough battle, Barret and Cloud race to the top of the reactor and to the elevator. Just, after the reactor explodes.
"Hmm, I thought there were five minutes left on that timer. Oh well."
Avalanche sits in some rubble near the elevator.
"OK it's clear now."
"'Cept for the loud explosion."
"All right. Let's get outta here." says Barret.
"Good idea." says Lemina, and the group gets up and leaves the theater.