The search of the Mia Ausa Fan Club for what Red Bart referred to as "a suitably spectacular image" did not begin auspiciously. The problem lay in the personality of their ideal. Mia was a shy, retiring girl who was not prone to make a spectacle of herself.
Her room being on the second floor of the Magic Guild mansion didn't help much, either.
"Bart, are you sure this is going to work?"
Red Bart regarded his confederate with a look of withering scorn.
"Are you a man, Merrill? Is it blood or water that flows in your veins? Up there"--he pointed dramatically at the large second-floor window framed by a mass of ivy--"lives, in slumber, the most beautiful girl in all Lunar. Can you even hope to imagine the shining glory that awaits us--a glory which will share with all the world to herald the triumph of our fair Mia, indeed of Vane itself?"
"What I am is a man who isn't particularly fond of heights." He also wasn't thrilled by the possibility of being caught by the Vane nightwatch and having to explain just what he was doing climbing up to the window of the Guildmistress' daughter at two in the morning, but didn't bother mentioning it. Bart would no doubt dismiss such concerns as base cowardice.
"Fine!" Bart exclaimed in a huff. "Then you can stay here and keep a lookout while I do the real work." He tucked the Magic Camera into the waistband of his breeches, seized two fairly thick vines in his hands, and began to climb, bracing his feet on the wall while using the remarkably sturdy ivy to give himself any number of handholds. A professional thief would no doubt have called it child's play, but for a boy who lacked the upper body strength to do a chin-up in phys. ed., it was actually pretty impressive. Motivation, it appeared, was everything.
It took a fair amount of time; Mia's room was only on the second floor but that floor was more than fifteen feet off the ground thanks to the mansion's high ceilings. Finally, though, Bart was only a few inches below the windowsill, and even Merrill was filled with eagerness to know what he could see. It was a bright, moonlit night--surely there would be plenty of illumination.
"Yaah!"
"Bart, keep it down!" Merrill whispered harshly. Surely Red Bart wasn't so silly as to start screaming out loud? He'd have the nightwatch on them in an instant.
Then he looked up, saw why Bart had screamed, and almost cried out himself.
The ivy vines had pulled themselves away from the wall and were wrapping themselves around Bart like any number of green, writhing ropes. They plucked him off the wall, dangling him in the air by one ankle.
"In retrospect, it really does seem silly that Guildmistress Lemia would let her daughter sleep in a room that was so obviously vulnerable to thieves without giving her some kind of magical protection."
"Stop mumbling and get me down from here!"
Exactly how he was supposed to do that was a difficult question, but luckily he didn't have to worry about it. After a couple of seconds, the ivy let Bart go. As it did, the Camera fell from his waistband.
With a swiftness and dexterity that was completely out of character for him, Merrill sprinted forward and dove, his body extended almost in a fully horizontal position. The Camera fell into his hands not eight inches before it crashed to the ground. Merrill slid across the grass, acquiring a number of interesting green stains on his clothing, before finally coming to a stop.
"It's okay, Bart; I caught it."
Red Bart gave a hearty (if agonized) groan of approval.
Bart's injuries weren't anything that a few hours' sleep and a few doses of healing herb couldn't deal with, so come the next morning he was yawning his way into Intermediate History and Geography. After a night of attempted burglary, dueling enchanted vines, and falling from heights, a lesser man might have cut class and stayed in bed. The late Dragonmaster Dyne, for example, had been known to regularly skip his 8:00 A.M. magic classes when he had studied at the Guild. Red Bart, though, wasn't most men. He had something the majority of people could only aspire to.
Specifically, he possessed Mia's class schedule (a necessity for truly effective Mia-watching), which told him that at that moment, Mia was attending her Advanced Theories of Elemental Magic class. Furthermore, that class was just across the courtyard from his classroom. From his seat near the window, he could peek across the courtyard and right into Mia's class.
Bart waited for his chance, and once Professor Tholan was deep into one of his lectures on geography and its relation to politics, he slipped the Camera out. Looking out the window, he soon located Mia. And then, Fate smiled on the boy.
Althena be praised! She's... stretching!
Indeed, Mia had thrust her arms up, arching her back as she stretched cramped muscles. Not only did the pose do interesting things to her upper body (and Bart's blood pressure), but also caused the hem of her pink robe to rise up her leg. More and more of her calf was revealed with every moment.
Oh, yes! Just a little--
"Bartholomew?"
"Further!"
"Quite right, Bartholomew; Meryod is further from Vane than Reza. I didn't think you were paying attention."
"Are you sure this is such a good idea?"
"Of course! We'll show Mia at the full height of power and beauty as she practices her spells. The future leader of the Magic Guild in all her glory!"
"Actually," Merrill said, "I was thinking more along the lines of 'what are we doing up here?'" The two of them were seated on a broad beam high above the practice arena, a large, empty room of sturdy construction which had seen its share of magical mishaps over the years. It was, Merrill reflected, a long way down to the ground from where he was, and this was a definite reason for someone like himself who didn't always exhibit the highest level of physical dexterity to worry. "Fell from a beam while trying to spy on the Guildmistress' daughter" was not what he wanted on his tombstone.
"Quit worrying! There she is!"
In fact, the instructor led Mia out onto the practice floor as the first to train in her spells. Red Bart raised the Camera, ready to take a picture.
"Now, Miss Ausa," the instructor said, "you need to concentrate on the spell you want to cast and focus your mind on the result. Powerful magic requires complete concentration. A magician must learn to maintain that concentration despite any distractions around him or her, or disaster could result.
Mia nodded.
"I'll try my best," she said softly. She raised her hands in the air, summoning the power of magic that Althena had spread throughout the world of Lunar.
"By the power of--"
"Achoo!" someone sneezed explosively from the middle of the class.
"Althena!"
The burst of fire called forth by Mia's Flame spell exploded from her hand. Unfortunately, thanks to the distraction, it did not go where she had intended.
"An excellent example," the instructor said, nodding sagely, "of the need for maintaining an exacting level of concentration when manipulating powerful magic. You must be able to focus completely on the intended effect, class, regardless of what is happening around you. Imagine the distractions of an actual battle!"
"I'll try to do better," Mia said apologetically.
"Look on the bright side," Merrill told his friend. "At least the Magic Camera turned out to be fireproof."
"We're cursed!" Red Bart moaned, collapsing on his bed. "The Meribians have won."
"We have been having quite a run of bad luck," Merrill agreed.
"Bad luck? Bad luck? It's as if Althena herself is jealous of Mia's beauty and is using her power to keep Mia from her rightful place!"
Merrill frowned at that.
"Um, Bart, I really don't think that Althena has too much to worry about there. I mean, Mia's a hotty and all that, but I think the Goddess has a slight edge on her..."
The fact that Red Bart did not choose to challenge this slur to Mia's appearance was as good a sign as any of his mental state.
"I'm about ready to hurl this Camera out the window, except Colin would probably use me to test the magic of wedgie. The world will never know the true glory that is Mia."
Merrill had never heard his friend like this. It was completely out of character for Red Bart to be consumed with despair, without a plan or a scheme up his sleeve. This news probably should have Merrill jumping for joy, but instead he found himself wanting to get the old Bart back.
Temporary insanity could be an insidious thing.
"Come on, Bart, you can't give up now! Aren't you always saying that a real man never gives up on the ones he loves? That the magicians of the Magic Guild would rather die than admit defeat? That it is the sworn duty of the Mia Ausa Fan Club to spread the word of Mia's beauty far and wide so that all shall come to idolize her and cast aside false icons of feminine glory? Even," Merrill couldn't help but point out, "if that last one was when you'd had a bit too much of Pao Pilsner"--slogan: The Beer With a Kick like a Prairie Stallion--"it's still the creed you live by."
Bart looked up at him with dawning hope.
"Merrill, do you really believe that?"
"Hey, do you think I'd ruin two sets of clothes, climb a thirty-foot rope, and dodge fireballs just for the fun of it? You led me down this path, Bart, and I want to get to the end."
The red-haired boy sat bolt upright in bed.
"You're right, Merrill! This isn't just about us! We're servants of a cause that's much greater than our petty problems, the devotion to true beauty. Did the Four Heroes waver when they suffered injury and trouble? Dragonmaster Dyne gave his life for the Goddess--how can I do any less for Mia?"
He bounded from the bed and dashed to his desk where he began shuffling through papers.
"Do you have a plan, Bart?"
"Yes, Merrill, a plan. A glorious plan! A brilliant plan! A veritable work of genius!"
Oh, dear.
"Here!" he cried triumphantly, pulling out a page from the clutter. Merrill looked over his shoulder.
"Mia's class schedule?"
"Exactly--and one hour from now, Mia is scheduled for physical education!"